The Decision

Candi first told me about needing a kidney over a year ago. We were both working at a newspaper group in Northern Virginia.  I instantly felt the urge to help but I am ashamed to say that I didn’t act on that urge. I just assumed that I wouldn’t be a match and never got around to doing the research to see what was involved.  A few months later I moved back to our corporate office in Richmond which put Candi's need a little further out of my mind.

Luckily, Candi posted a message to her Facebook page last April that brought her need back to my attention. A local news program aired a story about a lady who found a live kidney donor by posting her need on Facebook. Candi figured this was worth a shot. She posted some particulars about the process and she mentioned that the first hurdle was that the donor had to have the same blood type as the recipient. She listed her blood type as O (the positive and negative don’t matter).

Well I have type O blood which got me past the “there is no way that I could possibly be a match” phase. I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to put things off any longer. Candi put me in touch with the Transplant Coordinator at Inova Transplant Center at Fairfax Hospital.

Inova sent me a packet of information on the technical side of donation and the potential risks involved. They encouraged me to go over the details with my family as they consider it very important to have a lot of family support. The biggest risks seemed to be with the surgery itself.

First, there is always a risk when going under anesthesia. I am young and very healthy so I viewed this as being a small risk. Second, there is always a risk of infection with a major incision such as is required to remove an organ.  From what I read, it sounded like this risk was minimal as long as you do a really good job of keeping up with cleaning the incision.

I found the long term risks to be a lot smaller than I expected. 97% of kidney issues affect both kidneys at the same time so only having one kidney does not greatly add to that risk.  Adding to my comfort level was the fact that kidney disease does not run in my family.  You are strongly encouraged to live as healthy a lifestyle as possible when you only have one kidney and you need to avoid some medications that are considered to be toxic to your kidneys.  Overall, though, it sounded like I wouldn't have to take any medications or change my diet.  I would be able to go on living my life much like I do now.

In reviewing all of the materials and doing some additional research online, the importance of my decision was amplified by learning more about what Candi was facing.  I learned more about the challenges of dialysis and the freedom that comes from a new kidney.  I learned about the advantages of a recipient receiving a kidney from a live donor instead of a deceased donor.  Both the short term and long term success rates were a lot higher with a live donor.  And there was the open question of how long Candi would have to wait for a kidney from a deceased donor.  She has already been waiting for 6 years.

When weighing the advantages for Candi against the potential risks, my decision seemed like a relatively easy one. The next hurdle was discussing my decision with my family. This part made me a bit nervous as I figured my family would be far more concerned than I was. I had it about ½ right. I found that the women in my family were completely supportive but the men were more concerned. I was really expecting it to be the other way around. But with a little education and some time to digest everything, my entire family warmed to the idea and gave me their blessing.

The decision was made - I was ready to proceed. I filled out the paperwork and faxed it back to Inova. I had taken the next step in the journey.

Candi & Myself